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See a Shitpost Now!

2 December, 2016 - TofuMars | 0 Comments

baited

AND THEN THIS [ENGIE/SENTRY-DISGUISE SPY OTP]

15 August, 2016 - TheyCallMeContra | 2 Comments

8:05 PM - Contra: I mean, on the bright side, hell yeah, money
8:05 PM - Contra: but if I woke up this morning
8:05 PM - Contra: knowing I was going to meet a zombie fetishist
8:06 PM - Contra: who would commission me to write a fic about the engineer molesting a spy he thinks is his sentry
8:06 PM - Contra: I dunno
8:06 PM - Contra: if I’ve learned anything about life today is that you never know where it takes you
8:07 PM - Contra: and today it’s taken me into the arena of “writing horrible porn for money”

Story idea is from this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8A-3i1NqsA

Every now and then, Dell Conagher, the BLU Engineer, takes it upon himself to work on his various sentry “base models”. These base models are fully-functional prototypes of sorts that are used as a baseline for the toolboxes the Engie manufactures to create his sentries on the field. The modifications he makes to these are used by the sentries that both he and his RED clone use on a daily basis, fighting in the Badlands. He’s heard whispers around that soon the Spy was acquiring new models of his various guns and watches, which were likely to provide a significant upgrade to his capabilities. Not to mention the Demoman’s drunken screaming about losing the proper casing for his Loch-n-Load grenades, which would apparently make them less effective on enemies?

Dell shrugged. He never really understood how that worked or why people’s weapons seemed to all start functioning radically differently at around the same times, and he thought it best not to think too far into it. Whatever balancing act was at play must have been a coincidence, and even if it wasn’t, it was hardly a practical problem a lone Engineer could get to the bottom of- so he chose to disregard it and keep at work on his machines.

Dell opened the door to his garage, flipping a light switch to his left, which illuminated the place, revealing his four base model sentries, neatly assembled in a line in the middle of the room. From left to right was the Mini Sentry (different from the Prototype he kept in his room), the Level One, then Two, then Three. He’d already made adjustments to most of them- everything he had would now build faster, but would be slightly more vulnerable in turn. This was an unfortunate downside, but Dell had long decided that he needed to keep things up to speed, and this would only further that goal. Plus, the Mini Sentry was repairable now- that was something he was proud of.

He deactivated the other sentries and moved over to the Level Three, which he had yet to begin work on. To make it build faster, he would reduce some of its armor, as well as remove one of the extra power supplies he’d shoved in there for no good reason- it’d probably take some pulling, but he was sure he could yank it out, given enough pressure.

Engineer pulled up a chair in front of the back of his Level Three, sat down and got to work.

Unbeknownst to him, a RED Spy was in the room with him, squatting down to roughly match his posture with the Sentry’s as Dell began to rub his hands across the Spy’s chest. Spy remained stoic and silent, knowing Dell wouldn’t perceive his heartbeat through the vibration absorption feature of his suit- which, wait, what?

Dell began to pull off the Sentry’s top layer of blue, metallic armor, unknowingly ripping off the top of the Spy’s suit in the process. The RED Spy seethed silently at the damage being done to his wonderful suit, and resolved to pull his knife from his pocket and stab this nimrod in the neck for- oh.

Dell’s gloved hands moved downward, brushing over the Spy’s abdominal muscles and reaching down into his pants, the force of his hand causing the button to pop off and cause the zipper to become undone as Dell unkowingly reached into the Spy’s boxers and touched the Spy’s penis.

“Somewhere around here…” Dell said in a husky, Texan drawl in Spy’s ear, causing his chest to flutter in anticipation, “That power supply cylinder oughta be right- there we go!”

The Engineer pulled out Spy’s throbbing, erect cock to the open air of his garage workshop, causing the Spy to let out a bated breath and tremble slightly.

This was so, so wrong…Spy didn’t know that today was the day the Engineer would be working on his buildings- he regularly disguised and rested here to gain intel on just what the Engie might be doing next. But this- oh, God, this- wasn’t something he could’ve ever foreseen.

He could stop it if he wanted to, he thought, holding in a groan as the Engie began to tug at his cock, all he had to do was drop disguise or, better, yet, kill the man before he knew what was going on, but this felt too good to make it stop so soon.

The Engineer pulled harder, groaning in frustration. The reserve power cylinder was unusually slippery, he was having trouble pulling it out today. He removed his hand from it, took off his right hand glove and went back to it with his bare hand, gripping it tighter and resuming the pulling motion, rougher and faster, rougher and faster.

“Mon dieu!” The Spy screamed, ejaculating against the rough texture of Engineer’s calloused, working man’s hands.

This firing of ejaculate counted as a move of attack, so the disguise faded then.

Engineer blinked slowly. Despite his great mind, he was having trouble beginning to comprehend just what he saw and felt in front of him, but after about five seconds of silence (broken up with the Spy’s post-orgasm panting), he smiled wickedly.

“Oh, Spah,” he whispered in the man’s ear, “You’re a loooooooong way from France, boy.”

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Commando

8 Jun, 2016 @ 8:07am

retards

a long cat

27 Apr, 2016 @ 12:48am

i would like to be group player of the week but what i just said wont apply to me

a long cat

27 Apr, 2016 @ 12:48am

Group Player of the week: known faggot and pyrom ain

toad thrower 25 Apr, 2016 @ 4:09pm

5:05 PM - Marty: ur killing this group
5:05 PM - Marty: #de_moted
5:08 PM - Vanilla Eel is now Online.
Monday, April 25, 2016
5:57 PM - Vanilla Eel: tfw u shitpost 2 hard for a shitpost group :,(

toad thrower 24 Apr, 2016 @ 9:06pm

yes