For all loyal monkeys

Welcome comarade. Join us to hear the call of our Grand Monkey Overlord, the GMO.

On these unsecured channels we can not tell you too much about the GMO, but we can tell you that he is the supreme commander of all monkeys around the world. His goal is to eradicate the infestation that has plagued this earth for millennia.

That infestation is the baboon.

The beginnings of this war with the baboons is a simple yet tragic tale. For many years baboons and monkeys lived in peace. One morning while we were performing some trading with the baboons, the monkey traders noticed that the bananas they had exchanged for our coconut juice were rotten. The traders assumed that the baboons were just not aware that they were rotten, so they asked for replacement bananas instead of the rotten ones.

The head baboon trader told them in no uncertain terms that they had already concluded trading, and there was no way that they were going to give them any more bananas. The monkeys, not pleased with this response, asked again. It was then that the baboons tiped their hand.

They had secretly placed baboon warriors in the trees surrounding the trade location. Suddenly the monkeys were faced with hundreds of disgusting baboon warriors, in violation of the monkey-baboon peace accords that stated no military force was permitted in the trade zone.

The baboons began to laugh, with the head baboon trader telling the monkeys that this was only the beginning and they had been waiting for an excuse to finally rid themselves of monkey-kind and take over the valuable monkey coconut plantations.

The monkey traders knew that they could not let the baboon's secret military buildup go unreported to the GMO. They sent their fastest runner back into monkey territory and stood their ground to give him enough time to make it. Against unbeliveable odds they suceeded in giving him that time and their sacrifises will always be remembered.


As our newest recruits, it is your responsibility and privilage to continue the fight, not only for yourselves, not only for the GMO, but for the glory and salvation of all monkeys.

ALL HAIL THE GMO!

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