-The 19 Commandments of Carl Wheezer-

1. In the beginning Carl Wheezer created the heavens and the earth.

2. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of Carl Wheezer was hovering over the jimmys moms.

3. And Carl Wheezer said, “Let there be croissant,” and there was croissant.

4. Carl Wheezer saw that the croissant was good, and he separated the croissant from the darkness.

5. Carl Wheezer called the croissant “good shit,” and the darkness he called “night.” And there was evening, and there was morning—the first day.

6. And Carl Wheezer said, “Let there be a frog picture between the jimmys moms to separate jimmys mom from jimmys mom.”

7. So Carl Wheezer made the frog picture and separated the jimmys mom under the frog picture from the jimmys mom above it. And it was so.

8. Carl Wheezer called the frog picture “hey jimmy you want to see a picture of a frog.” And there was evening, and there was morning—the second day.

9. And Carl Wheezer said, “Let there be croissants in the frog picture of the sky to separate the day from the night, and let them serve as signs to mark sacred times, and days and years,

10. and let them be croissants in the frog picture of the sky to give croissant on the earth.” And it was so.

11. Carl Wheezer made two great croissants—the greater croissant to govern the day and the lesser croissant to govern the night. He also made the stars.

12. Carl Wheezer set them in the frog picture of the sky to give croissant on the earth,

13. to govern the day and the night, and to separate croissant from darkness. And Carl Wheezer saw that it was good.

14. And there was evening, and there was morning—the third day.

15. Carl Wheezer made the wild tasty croissants according to their kinds, the livestock according to their kinds, and all the creatures that move along the ground according to their kinds. And Carl Wheezer saw that it was good.

16. Then Carl Wheezer said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild tasty croissants,[a] and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”

17. So Carl Wheezer created mankind in his own image,
in the image of Carl Wheezer he created them;
male and female he created them.

18. Carl Wheezer blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”

19. Carl Wheezer saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the fourth day.

A'men.

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