Pizza is perhaps the greatest food made in the history of man, its infinite possibility, global appeal, complete affordability, and let us not forget that unforgettable flavor which even the lowest slum urchin ,to the highest billionaire selling their daughter off to the French, is familiar with and at times comes to crave. It is no exaggeration to give it the title of being the tippity top in the food chain and really only pretentious snobs and people too weak to drink milk push away such perfection, ♥♥♥♥, even vegans make their own abominable imitations of it. Think about that, a food so good people go the extra mile to eat some even if it means making a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ substitute, I mean seriously have you ever tried a vegan pizza?
Moving on, Pizza wasn’t the first of its lineage and originally started off as flatbreads baked with oil and rarely came with toppings, and tomatoes? Forget it. These flatbreads were popular across the mediterranean, they would find their place in Greece, Ancient Rome, the dudes Rome cut up and absorbed like a pizza the Entruscans (where focaccia would originate and eventually come to be known as Panis Focacius once they got empired.(Empire? I barely know her!). Documented proof of Pizza being named the way it is has been connected to written proofing in Gaeta 997 AD with other writings scattered further in Italy, mostly in the Central and Southern regions.
To get more into the cheese of this topic we have to look thousands of years into the past as while in Greece and Rome it started to gain traction, its origins can actually be traced further back over 7000 years ago in Sardinia (west of the italy world boot) where baked bread found its place, I mean ♥♥♥♥ if I’m going to say pizza originated from baked bread I might as well say it started with wheat in ancient Sumer or some crap. Now I know what you’re thinking, Darius the Great was a bit of an ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ and deserved to get his ass romped by Alexander the Great I mean come on the dude’s men was recorded putting DATES of all things on their cheese pizzas, but nonetheless he is apart of history and we must recognize that eating pizza before battle on top of your shield going to be used in said battle is pretty badass. The Greeks made something called Plakous with toppings like onions, cheese and garlic and honestly it doesn't sound that bad but let's be honest who gives a damn about Greek pizza we’re just going to move on to sauce of this tale both figuratively and literally.
Now I know what you’re thinking, the newest BeeG video on Bayonetta looks pretty cool but honestly in my mind Bayonetta has always been slow as ♥♥♥♥ and had combo inputs that make me want to eat drywall so please take that thought out of your mind. What you’re also thinking is how the ♥♥♥♥ can people just eat bread with oil and some random veggies and MAYBE cheese on top? Fatherless women and devil hunters you have to keep in mind that this was considered a poor man’s meal, something to get by on with a bit of flavor so you're not just chewing at wheat outright, and for some reason no one came up with the idea to put tomatoes on yet because I actually don’t know, if someone wants to cover this bit I’d be more than happy to learn why if there are any tomato experts out there (seriously though, Nico, Trish, and Lady all have daddy issues have you ever noticed that? Actually, thinking about it, Vergil, Dante, and Nero do as well. Damn do you just need to have an absent father figure or have them die in a horrible demon based attack to become a devil hunter?).
I’m getting off topic so I’m going to skip that paragraph and move on. I'm not going to cover pizzarelle because everything I’ve found about it is in some way or another ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ and really it's not worth the time to explain. Pizza during its poor people arc would have its footing in Naples and wouldn’t become the tomato tasty treat we know it as today until the Spanish brought red orbs (tomatoes) from the New World where they eventually circulated into Naples and Sicily while they were apart of the Spanish Empire (Anytime you want to get angry at the Spanish for all the light-hearted trolling they did, think about how they're the reason that pizza you’re munching into isnt a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ piece of flatbread with dry ingredients on top). It is believed the main contributors were Pedro Álvarez de Toledo and or viceroy Manuel De Amat during the 16th century had gifted Neapolitans in 1770 tomato seeds in a gesture of good faith from the Viceroyalty of Peru, don't quote me on it though. Remember that guy that wrote the greatest adventure story ever made based around a suspenseful tale of revenge and the human condition? Well he also liked pizza and Mr. Dumas would describe the diversity of pizza in 1843, I’m telling you, this stuff just attracts complete badasses.
Okay ♥♥♥♥ the book writer and other ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ now we get into an actual innovator, the father of the modern pizza, a man by the name of Raffaele Esposito (I wish I was named Raffaele that ♥♥♥♥♥ too cool) who was a Neapolitan Pizza Maker and in his quest to honor Margherity of Savy, this kindly fellow made the Pizza Margherita, a pizza with, you guessed it, tomatoes, in June 11ths of 1889. Now you might’ve thought that was it that's the grand reveal but this dude also used Basil and Mozzarella in tandem with the tomato to represent the national colors of Italy, everytime you consume pizza it is Italian propaganda in food form, if any place wants to argue they have better foods than Italy then I want you to ask them how many foods of theirs that represent their flag do they have being mass produced and eaten globally. I seriously don’t know what to do with this info, once I read this my mind was torn in two. Okay to be a bit of a killjoy the “Pizza Margherita '' was already a thing for a while now and traces its origins back to 1734, generations before Esposito’s time and Marinara from Naples would be this source. Up until the late 19th century though pizza was an often sweet commodity not the savory tasty thing we know it as today and some early cookbooks which provide recipes for pizza such as La Scienza in cucina e l'Arte di mangiar bene written by Pellegrino Atrusi, actually provides recipes for sweet ones. Later feedback would see the book ordained with a typed sheet in the 1911 edition which provided a recipe for a “pizza alla napoletana” as discovered by food historian Alberto Capatti.
The growth of the pizzeria would be a big event coming into the 1800s where 54 of them existed in Naples alone and by the latter half of the 19th century that number would double and then some to 120. Now ♥♥♥♥♥♥ nerds and morons cast doubt on Raffaele Esposito’s legend of how he made the pizza something even royalty would enjoy and I’m here to say who gives a ♥♥♥♥ its a tale about pizza how about stop having a stick up your ass all the time, do you also tell you kids Santa isn’t real because its a scientific impossibility? Morons, anyway i'm getting off track again, It is believed Raffaele baked three different pizzas for King Umberto the first and Queen Margherita, who of which the pizza was named after. The favorite would be the pizza which symbolized the Italian flag with its mix of cheese basil and tomato sauce and would become the most preferred pizza of its generation.

Believe it or not there are rules for pizza, and in 1984 the True Neapolitan Pizza Association (Associazione Verace Pizza Napoletana) was founded to establish ground rules for what is an authentic Neapolitan pizza.
The rules are as follows
The pizza must be baked in a wood fired, domed oven
The base of the pizza must be hand kneaded, not to be prepared via mechanical means, not even the usage of a pin or rolled.
The pizza must not exceed 35 centimeters (13 freedom units for any Americans)
Nor must it have a diameter be more than one-third of a centimeter thick at the center
This group also introduces folks into the cult and chooses pizzarias to represent their teachings. It's like getting invited into Stanford (I say Stanford not Harvard because unlike Harvard you can’t buy your way into this club) but for putting tomatoes on a piece of bread.

Pizza is also quite different across Italy, and with a plethora of famous pizzerias in Naples you’re sure to find a nice slice. Some of these to be named are Da Michele, Port’Alba, Brandi, Di Matteo, Sorbillo, Trianon, and Umberto. Found mostly in the historical center of Naples, these places hold even stricter standards than those established by the association, how neat. An example would be only San Marzano Tomatoes grown on Mount Vesuvius can be used, yeah your grandma using only a certain spice brand from the local grocer doesn't have ♥♥♥♥ on this I’m sorry. Pizzas in Naples would be more soft and malleable whereas in Rome the thin crust would reign supreme, Pizza Al Taglio would also have a spot in Italy, being a pizza baked in a rectangular tray with toppings and sold by weight.
We won’t discuss Hawaiian “Pizza” because you'd have to have the taste buds of a toddler who only enjoys eating sweet things and food from the Mcdonald’s dollar menu to enjoy what is essentially a bastardization of a masterpiece of food made by the Canadians. Seriously, if Canada disappeared I don’t think anyone would notice. To stay consistent with my wording though with Darius, unfortunately, I must cover the history of pizza in Canada and how the people of Northern North America saw something great and thought putting their pig slop on such finely selected ingredients was a good idea.
Canada’s first pizzeria would find its start in 1948 going by the name of Pizzeria Napoletana located in Montreal. Pizza ovens would start coming in droves in the late 1950s and would heighten in popularity in the 1960s where every other pizza maker would take their slice of the business and open up their own pizzeria. These places didn’t just serve pizza however and were often restaurants or take out places with a vast selection of Italian classics, of course the Canadians decided this was too good as well and decided to make Pizza-ghetti because everything there needs to look like it fits in a pig’s feeding trough. I’m not going to cover their popular brands and all that stuff because who gives a ♥♥♥♥ the US has a way cooler history about this anyway and is actually home to some of the largest pizza chains in the world.
With the arrival of Italian immigrants in the 19th century they would bring their secrets, their foods, their culture and with it the holy grail of foods, pizza. The first reference to pizza printed would be a 1904 article in The Boston Journal where it covered Giovanni and Gennaro Bruno coming to America from their home in Naples in 1903 and introduced to the American people, more namely Boston, the Neapolitan pizza and later Giovanni’s son Vincent would open up the very first pizzeria in Chicago. There’s some conflict here but I’m really running out of steam here to explain a feud between the origins of this particular area of pizzatopia so I’m going to move on, you’re more welcome to look it up for yourself on whether Lombardi’s or Gennaro did it first and come to your own conclusion. It would take over Jersey with Joe's Tomato Pies in 1910, then Papa’s Tomato pies in 1912, following both of these in 1936 De Lorenzo’s Tomato Pies would follow suit. While sadly Joe’s Tomato Pies has been closed, both the Papas and Delorzeno’s location has been run by their family to even the modern day and still hold the higher standards that brought them stardom all those years ago, talk about generational. Connecticut would get Frank pepe Pizzeria Napletana in New Haven (No way guys Borderlands is real!) and it opened in 1925. Sally’s Apizza would compete with Frank Pepe as run by his nephew Sal Consiglio at the other end of the block in 1938. Both are still run by descendants of the original family and ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ thats sick as ♥♥♥♥, literally Canadian history had nothing this cool I seriously wonder why theyre such a boring people. When Consiglio died 2000 folk attended his wake while the New York times would run a half page memoriam. The “city of angels” would get its slice by the D’Amore family in 1939. Prior to the 1940s pizza was mostly a commodity eaten and served by Italian immigrants and their descendants, however after WWII once folk returned from their italian campaigns after being introduced to Italy’s finest foods, the US was prepped more than ever for a pizza market explosion. It would be eaten by the lowest privates to the headest honchos like Mr. Eisenhower, it would appear in cartoons like Popeye, and eventually would inspire fast food pizza chains with names being Domino’s Pizza Hut, and Papa John’s. Oh yeah and Chicago deep dish pizza was eventually made by Ikke Sewell and Ric Riccardo so blame them for making that monstrosity an abomination, at least it's not as bad as Hawaiian pizza.

I did no spelling or grammar checks or anything on this so please if there are any mistakes make sure to let me know and I’ll fix them pronto, however if you enjoy Hawaiian pizza the only mistake here is you reading my guide and I’ll kindly ask you to leave.

Go to the Domino's Pizza creation app and prepare your wallet and other stuff for pizza purchase

It's been said that Dante likes to get everything on his pizzas so go ahead and order that (hold those olives) but a favorite is pepperoni so if you're not feeling adventurous this is also a safe bet.

Once your purchase is made, try to clear Bloody Palace on DMC4 as quick as possible before the pizza arrives, if by some miracle you beat it before the delivery boy meets your doorstep, you are justified in not tipping.(I was going to say that maybe this is perhaps too much time in hindsight but in reality the only people still playing DMC4 are mega tryhards with combos that are WAY too stylish.)

As soon as you open the door ask the delivery boy if this is the order for your "Devil May Cry Pizza?" If he says he doesn't know what you're talking about explain you're a devil hunter who works jobs to pay for his electricity and that this pizza and strawberry sundaes are the only thing keeping you afloat. Once you say this he will immediately understand what you mean and just hand you the pizza, it will be an awkward exchange because no one's ready for the first time they meet a legendary devil hunter (read : turbo nerd). Once you go to pay hold on to the dollar right as he grabs it and tugs it back, then look directly into his eyes and say "Jackpot," then proceed to let go and let him have his cash. with that all done you can continue on with your day knowing you successfully ordered a Devil May Cry Pizza. I personally wiggle my fingers 4-5 times when I open the box so I can feel like a complete lame brain but you don't have to if you're trying to preserve at least some of your dignity.