Garry's Mod

Garry's Mod

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How to become a Waluigi Cultist
By Jamu
  • Ever felt as if your life isn't purple enough?
  • Ever felt as if your life isn't lanky enough?
  • Ever felt as if your life isn't glorious enough?

Hi, I'm JamKnife, and I'm going to talk to you all about how to be a Waluigi Cultist and embrace our true Lord.
You may feel overwhelmed to begin with, but soon you can learn everything you need to know to make your life
c o m p l e t e !
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The Basics

Every Waluigi Cultist starts off somewhere. And to start, you need to know a few things beforehand. Such things include constantly wearing a Waluigi-inspired hat, T-shirt or the full costume. Want to take this in-game? Search up "Waluigi Playermodel" in the Garry's Mod Workshop and find one that suits you most.

Something else to keep in mind is your matter of speech. Don't bother with greetings and farewells such as "Hello" and "Goodbye". Just use the word "WAA!" This basic word can mean almost anything, and is just as versatile as the word "Meep."
The Next Step

So. You've proven you know the basics of becoming a Waluigi Cultist, but you still need a couple more things before you can even consider commitment of this magnitude.

The most important thing to do at this stage is to tell everybody what you're going through to become a Waluigi Cultist and gain their trust (At least four followers are required). This trust is a key item, since you'll need it later on. Once you have everybody's trust, you can continue to pursue your dreams and reach enlightenment.
♫ Don't Stop Believin'! ♫

As the title implies, you want to keep a regular prayer regimen. This could be acomplished by any means, from Blood Rituals and Sacrifices to the simple Shrine, or even a tiny Prayer once a day. The more extreme of acts get you closer to our Lord quicker, but even the simplest of folk can reach Waluigi.

On the topic of belief, be sure to have a Waluigi-related item - such as an amiibo™ - with you at all times. This way, you can connect to your Lord whenever you want to and wherever you may end up. A good and stable connection to our Lord is one of the best ways to reach him in Otherworld.
The Home Stretch

By now you've dressed like our Lord, you've spoken like our Lord, you've gathered four other followers of our Lord and you've performed actions for our Lord. This is where it gets serious.

Those four followers you gathered. That trust you gained? Take your four followers and position them on the floor in the shape of our Lord's symbol. Then, uttering the words "Waluigi Number One!" in your best Waluigi accent, throw your Waluigi Hat into the air and spin around counter-clockwise four times. You should then be visited by Waluigi's Messengers on the next Half Moon. They will guide you from here.
In the Final

After the Messengers visit, your initiation is complete. You are now one with our Lord, Waluigi!

"But Jam, what do I do with this newly found glory?"

Anything necessary, lil' Jimmy. Just be sure to make sure everyone else around hears about the glory of Waluigi and all of his followers.

As you are a Waluigi Cultist, you also need to please Waluigi by performing tasks such as yelling "WAA" in the streets and/or DarkRP servers, embracing to non-believers and eventually using them as sacrifices, and especially equipping your Waluigi Cap and realising true happiness in the arms of our Lord. Bask in your own glory and destroy everyone in Tennis matches!


DISCLAIMER: Opposing preachers are currently trying to take us down. Do not listen to their lies. Waluigi number one!
Now with servers!

So. You're a Cultist, but you don't have anywhere you can meet others who have seen the light. What do you do? I'll tell you what you do, you skidaddle off to our dedicated Garry's Mod server, brought to you by Melville Dewey!

IP Address: 192.168.86.55:27015

Just open the developer console in the main menu, then type "connect 192.168.86.55:27015" to join! It's that easy to be one step closer to our Lord, and you barely even have to get out of bed!
515 Comments
SleepyYo-Yo 23 Sep @ 7:04pm 
our Lord Waluigi frowns upon those who warship his daemon brother wario, a terrifying creature who prays upon those who have little faith in Waluigi
luckily I have all requirements, it'll be easy to follow this guide, I will become one with our lord Waluigi, also, its "WAH" not "WAA"
BlueSnake64 26 May, 2023 @ 7:34pm 
NO do listen to their maybe truths
Belgian Spy 1 Feb, 2023 @ 4:31pm 
WAA
Ronnie 12 Jan, 2023 @ 1:52pm 
wahahah!
artemy burakh real 4 Jan, 2023 @ 11:33am 
CULTUATE WALUIGI UNTIL HE GETS IN SUPER SMASH BROS! WAA!
Okada 30 Dec, 2022 @ 9:55am 
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
fenn 10 Dec, 2022 @ 7:21am 
uh steps unclear
i literally committed 75 war crimes in the eastern countries
Jamu  [author] 5 Oct, 2022 @ 4:38am 
I see.
Glue Eater 9K 4 Oct, 2022 @ 2:07pm 
someone posted waluigi R34 in a discord im on and I immediatley thought of this