I sexually Identify as a football. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of getting booted across a field or smacked towards goalposts with tremendous speed. People say to me that a person being a football is Impossible and I’m ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful and spherical in shape. I’m having a plastic surgeon inflate me with air and stitch me up with polyurethane or polyvinyl chloride. From now on I want you guys to call me “Size 5” and respect my right to give you a great lot of fun with mates and probably work up a good sweat. If you can’t accept me you’re a sfairesphobe and need to check your sporting privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

I sexually identify as a 16 inch frying pan. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of frying delicious bacon in hot greasy oil. People say to me that a person being a 16 inch frying pan is Impossible and I’m ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ retarded but I don’t care, I’m round and cast iron. I’m having a plastic surgeon coat me with teflon, install anticonductive handles, and forge my bottom with stainless steel. From now on I want you guys to call me “Big 16” and respect my right to sear meat from 300°F and burn steaks needlessly. If you can’t accept me you’re a panaphobe and need to check your cooking appliance privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

I sexually Identify as an the sun. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of slamming hydrogen isotopes into each other to make helium & light and send it throught the galaxy. People say to me that a person being a star is Impossible and I’m ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon inflate me with hydrogen and raise my temperature to over 6000 °C. From now on I want you guys to call me “Sol” and respect my right to give you vitamin D and probably sunburns. If you can’t accept me you’re a fusionphobe and need to check your astral privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

-rep spins when mad

-rep spin bots when losing

- rep saw him spinning up mid on inferno