I wasn’t always this sex God you see before you. The apex of raw sexual energy. In fact, I came into this world as a virgin. I was born with virginity. My father wasn’t a virgin, but yet embarrassingly, I was. And it stayed that way for 16 years until on my sixteenth year on this plain of existence, my Wiener Nation landed upon the shore of a Vagina Nation, consensually of course. It was an invite for the Wiener Nation to make landfall.