+rep dog

Stop coming to my house, it's getting out of control. This is why your wife left, you just don't know when to stop, and no it is NOT your dog. I don't know where you got the one trapped in your plastic baggy "bib", but I refuse to make an addition to your collection. You need help. I've already contacted your parents to alert them of the situation, they said they will be here Tuesday to give you a proper home, one which happens to not be my attic. Don't make me drag the authorities into this.

+rep He's a nice guy. Came to my house uninvited once, kept asking for more RAM to run his minecraft server. When I tried confronting him about his crippling addiction, he started waving his hands in my face while screaming "You can't see me, you can't see me!", and wouldn't stop. I told him I called the police, to which he responded "I'm on the inside", and proceeded to hold my dog hostage in a plastic bag which he tied around his neck like a cape. I only got it back after I told him I had watched all the Marvel movies, and found him several miles into the woods where he had collapsed from hypothermia. It's cool now, we're still friends.