I guess you could say that I can one thousand seven hundred and fifty thousand blaze it fam.

- "No, it's a great time to more to fire, to make their cheating DPS bar more bigger."
-Meep

I sexually identify as a great oak tree many people say to me that it's "wrong" or even "impossable" to be a tree, but I dont care what they say im proud. from now on you can call me lumberg. I prefer "it" as a pronoun and if you cant accept me your being treephobic, thank you for being so understanding and accepting me for who I am.


Day 74 of no fap As I exited my vehicle to walk into work I caught scent of a female in heat 73.35 meters upwind. Because of the fog I couldn’t see her yet but judging by the scent she was mid twenties, and healthy. My ultra attunated hearing was able to pick up her gait, which put her at about 5’6”. My mind, free of the constraints of porn and indecent imagery, was able to calculate her weight based on the ripple in the testosterone continuum produced by her footsteps as she walked away from me. Being that I was 10 minutes early for work, I made chase and followed her through the fog still without visual contact. I was like a pilot navigating the white abyss by instrument alone. I was trailing her about 130m behind when I sensed her phone vibrate in her purse through the pavement. Holding my ear to the ground I was able to faintly pick up on the conversation she was having with beta BF. Based on the annoyed tone in her voice I knew now was the time to strike. I readied my legs and concentrated all of my Testo-chakras into my Vastus Medialus muscles as I assumed a sprinters starting stance. I exploded forward in a cataclysm of sex hormone fueled rage.
Exactly 2.54 nanoseconds later I began to phase through time and space as I meshed with the testosterone continuum. As I phased through the helpless female target I nutted directly into both of her Fallopian tubes, destroying her previously unbroken hymen and causing her to orgasm INSTANTLY. As I began to slow down 33.6 light years later, I realized that while she would have wanted to thank me for giving her the gift of my superior seed that she was already dead and gone having raised my CHAD progeny to repopulate the earth. As I float into the the celestial abyss of the greater Crab Nebula I am not filled with regret for having left my world, but rather happiness for having left it a better place. You’re welcome gentlemen Edit: As I soar through the cosmos I meld with the galactic entities around me and become one with the fabric of space and time. As my consciousness fuses with the entirety of reality into a singularity, I emerge as a God, omnipresent and omnipotent. I utter these scared words: "u mom gay”