If we're really gonna do this...
No need to sully
our Tommy Bahamas.

Regret's a funny thing,
isn't it?

You know, in the summer of '93,
I taught English
overseas in Thailand.
A place where I would
unexpectedly fall in love.
His name was Anaruk.
It was a deep love,

the likes of which
I've never again experienced.

Unfortunately, that love
would be taken for granted,
as he set me up
for a crime I did not commit.

A crime that cost me
817 days on Satan's Pillow,

a brutal Thai prison.

Big ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ deal.
I did time, too.

Lucky for you,
not the kind I did.

In order to survive the horrors
and the ultra-violence of a
murder-hole like Klong Prem,
you had to fight,
oftentimes to the death.

It's there I learned my mantra,

"To regret deeply
is to live afresh."
Thoreau.

So, unless you've had
a change of heart, son,
let's begin the unfortunates.