"My cocaine may be infinite but my meth is not."
(Me 2015) \/ \/ \/ Jokes below \/ \/ \/

What did the worker at the rubber band factory say when he lost his job?

OH SNAP!


There’s two fish in a tank. One turns to the other and says

‘You man the guns, I’ll drive.


What do you get when you cross a tyrannosaurus rex with fireworks?

DINO-MITE!


Guy walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under arm. Says to the bartender: "I’ll take a beer, and one for the road."


Who does a pharaoh talk to when he's sad?

His mummy.


What do you call a deer with no eye?

NO IDEAR!


What kind of horses go out after dusk?

Nightmares! (What these jokes give you)


A neutron walks into a bar and asks "how much for a beer?" The bartender says, "for you? no charge."