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Pissed, pished, plastered, slashed, guttered, wasted, wankered (bit English, that one), ♥♥♥♥-faced, pie-eyed, awa’ (or awa’ wi’ it), off yer face, sloshed, steaming, off ‘is tits, bladdered, hammered, trollied.
Spelling is, of course, entirely optional.
⠀⠀⣠⣾⠋⠁⣀⡼⠇⢰⡶⠾⠇⣀⠈⢙⣷⣄⠀⠀
⠀⣴⠏⠉⣿⠂⠹⣆⠀⢸⡇⠀⣰⠏⠛⠞⠁⠹⣧⠀
⣸⣏⣀⡘⠳⣤⣠⡾⣿⢻⡟⣿⢷⣄⣤⠾⢷⣀⣽⣇
⣿⠉⢹⣇⣀⣠⣿⣛⣾⣿⣿⣷⣛⣿⣄⣀⣈⡉⠀⣿
⣿⠀⣈⡉⠉⠙⣿⣭⢿⣿⣿⡿⣭⣿⠋⠉⢹⣇⣀⣿
⢹⣟⠉⢷⡶⠛⠙⢷⣿⣼⣧⣿⡾⠋⠛⢦⡌⠉⣹⡏
⠀⢻⣆⠀⣴⣤⣠⠟⠀⢸⡇⠀⠹⣆ ⠠⣿⣀⣰⡟⠀
⠀⠀⠙⢿⣅⡀⠉⢰⡶⠾⠇⢰⡞⠉⢀⣠⡿⠋⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠷⢾⣧⣤⣤⣤⡿⠾⠛⠁
** ' * .* ** 🌟* * * '* * *
* * .* ' ✨ ✨ * ' *
. * ✨ ☆☆☆✨ * ' .
* ' ✨+:...💙...:✨ *
' '✨☆ 🏮☆🏮☆✨ * * '
* *✨+:💚:+@+💚:✨ ' *
* . ✨☆☆ 📀☆📀☆☆ ✨ * ' * .
' . ✨+:..:++:..💚..+&:..:+✨
* ✨☆🏮☆☆🏮☆☆🏮☆✨ * ' *
' . ✨+:...:+💙+:...:+💙§+:..:+✨
. ✨☆📀☆📀☆ ☆📀☆ 📀☆ ✨ ' *
✨💙+💙+:..:+@+:..:+💙+💙✨
. * . . 🟫 ' ' * * ' *
* * . * * 🟫 . * . '
,·´ ¸,·´`) * * 💝🎁🎁💝 *´`) * ' ' * ' * '