+rep this ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ gets drunk and won't shut the ♥♥♥♥ up

+rep very great static :)

-rep I found this page from a bumper sticker on an '86 Toyota Corolla. The guy drives like a maniac. He flew past me doing 75 on a residential street, and when I honked, he came to a screeching halt and stared at me through his side mirrors. After 5 minutes, he rolled down his window, stuck his head out, and screamed "DON'T BEEP AT ME! PLEASE DON'T!" with more tears than I've ever seen come out of someone before. I'm talking like someone hooked a faucet up to his tear ducts.

I apologized for honking but said speeding here is dangerous for kids. His demeanor changed like I threatened him. "K-k-kids? Don't let them see me! I got spanked last time." When I asked what he meant, he got angry. "Your windshield will eat my lunch!" Then he threw a half-eaten sleeve of saltines and a plastic water bottle full of olive brine at my windshield. Then he turned his stereo up to max volume, blasted Nickelback's "How You Remind Me," hurting his own ears, and sped off.

Weird guy.

+rep if you've ever read his blog "Eats on the Streets", you know this guy has the hookup on what time restaurants throw away their food waste for the day and which dumpsters have padlocks on them. I've had more free bagels since I found that site than I think I've ever had in my whole life! Seriously, this guy is so impressive, I once watched him pinpoint the exact moment a discarded carton of strawberry milk went bad. For reference: one hour and forty-three minutes in a closed dumpster during July, thirty-seven minutes in an open dumpster with direct exposure to the sun. When he poured it out it started to curdle mid-air and then, with a speed I've never seen before or since, he moved his mouth under the stream and caught it all and said "Yummy! Cottage cheese with a fruity twist!" So yeah, this dude is freakin' sweet! Check out his podcast too, "Here's the Deets on Street Eats"

-rep this man CANNOT laugh

-rep doesn't like the critically acclaimed MMORPG FINAL FANTASY XIV that has a free trial up to level 60 including the Heavensward expansion.
Also dunks his brown sugar cinnamon poptarts in ranch. I keep telling him to stop this foul deed as it is tearing our family apart, piece by piece. He just looks at me as he eats this disgusting "food" combination. I can feel the soulless look of his eyes draining my sanity.
Please exorcise the demon that has taken a grip upon his mortal coil.